I guess now is as good a time to start as any.
When I was a child I had many esoteric experiences. Every single one amazed me and tried to show me the interconnectedness and power within myself and all other living beings. I was able to see the beauty and power of nature but I never fit us, people, in to the equation I was building for my world view. My entire family was quite "paranoid" about other people and it gradually got worse with time. I don't feel this was paranoia in a delusional sense but more out of a lack of understanding.
I was an only child and I lived in a rural area with no neighbors or other children around to influence the direction in which my thoughts flowed. I was awful lucky to have a mother who was so open and understanding. She also taught me the power of the mind and the self tho she was doing so without knowing it.
I was also involved in martial arts as a child and oddly I had no idea that I could have used many of the concepts and techniques being taught to me to further my understanding of my esoteric experiences- school had taught me that everything was separate. It was at this time that the government mind control system of mass media and education started sinking it's grips in to me. I wanted to stay home and let my brain be programmed and my true self be stripped away in favor of being one of the "normal" American Sheeple. All this in front of the television on Saturday mornings instead of opening the channels of energy between the mind body and spirit at karate... Looking back it is really a shame.
Moving on a few years and I became very jaded, mean, and really just plain nasty. I look back at the person I was and it is not something I am proud of. I was a very anxious and depressed teen. I gained all my self esteem from picking on those weaker than myself. I wasn't really a bully because of my small frame but I was very mentally abusive to people. I cant stand that I was like that. I now know that in hurting others I was in fact hurting myself and causing the depression and anxiety I felt ever single day. Through all of this tho I could still feel the light, tho very dim every time I did something nice for another person.
In comes marijuana.
Thats all for now, I will continue this later.
Om shanti.
When I was a child I had many esoteric experiences. Every single one amazed me and tried to show me the interconnectedness and power within myself and all other living beings. I was able to see the beauty and power of nature but I never fit us, people, in to the equation I was building for my world view. My entire family was quite "paranoid" about other people and it gradually got worse with time. I don't feel this was paranoia in a delusional sense but more out of a lack of understanding.
I was an only child and I lived in a rural area with no neighbors or other children around to influence the direction in which my thoughts flowed. I was awful lucky to have a mother who was so open and understanding. She also taught me the power of the mind and the self tho she was doing so without knowing it.
I was also involved in martial arts as a child and oddly I had no idea that I could have used many of the concepts and techniques being taught to me to further my understanding of my esoteric experiences- school had taught me that everything was separate. It was at this time that the government mind control system of mass media and education started sinking it's grips in to me. I wanted to stay home and let my brain be programmed and my true self be stripped away in favor of being one of the "normal" American Sheeple. All this in front of the television on Saturday mornings instead of opening the channels of energy between the mind body and spirit at karate... Looking back it is really a shame.
Moving on a few years and I became very jaded, mean, and really just plain nasty. I look back at the person I was and it is not something I am proud of. I was a very anxious and depressed teen. I gained all my self esteem from picking on those weaker than myself. I wasn't really a bully because of my small frame but I was very mentally abusive to people. I cant stand that I was like that. I now know that in hurting others I was in fact hurting myself and causing the depression and anxiety I felt ever single day. Through all of this tho I could still feel the light, tho very dim every time I did something nice for another person.
In comes marijuana.
Thats all for now, I will continue this later.
Om shanti.
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